More of Him. Less of me

This devotional book of Charles Swindoll, ‘Good Morning, Lord… Can we talk?’, has a way of relating to my heart’s condition. Sometimes I would think his message is really meant for me.

Let me share to you how I processed two questions he asked his readers to answer:

1. Is there someone or something I have refused to forget, which kept me from being happy and productive?
2. Am I a victim of self-pity, living out my days emotionally paralyzed by anguish and despair?

I am so grateful to the Lord that for the past several weeks, Paul and I haven’t had a petty-turned-into-serious fights. Petty in the sense that I’d usually get anxious at him for being a forgetful person from refilling our water dispenser to putting his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. These things led me to the realization that, as a wife I should be more patient and understanding the ways and messiness of men (not all of them though).

I guess through constant prayer, God has gradually led me to become a forgiving wife. I have learned to adjust to the things he cannot perform immediately at home. God reminded me that I am homemaker not a talking parrot who persistently irritates my husband about his shortcomings. Instead of focusing on his weaknesses, I should be more encouraging and motivating towards him. His weakness will not and will never make him less loving or of a husband to me. I love him! It is just me who is really impatient towards things.

The “forget my wrongdoings” situation is still in progress at home because I have this tendency that when I am treated in a wrong way, I’d open a thing of the past and throw it to him saying it’s not only my fault. (Oh what a hard heart I have). But God said and has been faithful and intentional in reminding me that love does not keep records of wrong and that I should submit to my husband. Not just submit for the sake of following without a heart of willingness but also submission with respect and love. Nobody is perfect so I should stop being one. (What a conviction!)

I remember what he said about each other’s weaknesses, “If one of us is incapable of doing things or have shortcomings, the other must lift him/her up by helping him/her.” This is actually my prayer to God that I may serve my husband with compassion and humility of the heart without any sign of bitterness and hesitation. May the Holy Spirit control my whole being as I take care of my husband.

Prayer:

Lord, my desire is to be a consistent prayer warrior to my husband. Unceasingly praying for his welfare and growth. May I be his constant helper in all his plans and desires. Jesus, be the center of our relationship! I ask nothing but Your presence in this home. Guide and protect us always, Father. We love You!

‘Rule #4: Forgive even when it’s hard’, a friend read this statement aloud as she scan through the eight household rules hanged on our wall. She even commented that it’s hard to apply most especially when we are deeply hurt by someone.

Pain is a feeling we don’t want to deal with but as what John Green said, “it demands to be felt’. Feeling and harboring the pain should not end there just because we don’t have the strength to forget the sin that caused us to suffer.

God wants us to be at peace every time we deal with difficult people that is why the encouragement to forgive other is as precious as gold. Forgiveness will lead us to the clarity of God’s direction in our life. We can see and think clearly and be able to move on the next chapter of our life.

"Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?... Can't you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?" Romans 2:4

The gift of forgiveness is an offering to both parties whose lives were destroyed by sin. It will make them both pursue righteousness if taken wholeheartedly.

"Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers multitude of sin." 1 Peter 4:8

As we forgive, may we never treasure the history of wrongdoings for love does not keep records of wrongs.

Prayer:

My loving and faithful Father, thank You for being a good example of a forgiving being. Thank You that through Your Son, Jesus Christ we are forgiven.

My prayer is that I may embody this kind of character towards my loved ones and other people that I will encounter daily. Give me and my whole family the humility of the heart and eagerness of our soul to forgive and love others. Amen

Worship songs are my escape when I can no longer express into words how I’m feeling at the moment. The lyrics of each song I chose were like a prayer turned into sweet melody calling out the name of the Father. For me, every worship song is not meant to be sang silently but it has to be declared and offered to God with an expression of longing for His presence.

Let me share to you my favorite songs and its meaning to my spiritual life.

Oceans, is one of the many songs that made me cry when I finally surrendered my life to God. For me, it is like a prayer that each word depicts the real condition of the heart, longing for peace and comfort from the One Who can only give satisfaction.

It was during our Singles’ Retreat called ‘Photoshopped: Life on Skills” when I sang this wholeheartedly. Letting my God know that I want to be freed from pain and suffering and that I want Him to carry me through even on the smallest wave life can give. I said, “here I am, Lord. Take me to where you want me to be. I’m already tired of being in control of my life. You are now in control; be the captain of my soul.” So I guess this song really fits my condition at the time and even up to now it still captures the very core of my Christian life – ‘I am no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God’ (No longer Slaves by Bethel Music). Trusting the God of my life no matter how high the waves are and how deep the ocean is.

None but Jesus, my admission that my strength is found in Him. Jesus is the only lover of my soul and no one else can take that away from me. I sing this whenever I feel alone, weak, confuse and crushed. It reminds me that I am held by Him. There is a promise that I can’t be snatched from His hands because I am His daughter. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” Galatians 2:20.

No one else understands me the way He does. I delight in His grace and faithfulness in my life because no one can dare to be humiliated for the accusations He didn’t do and die for the salvation of many. Christ died in order to reconcile us with the Father. Only Him alone brought us back to the reality of God’s promise of eternal life.

Way Maker, sums up the character of Jesus – WAY MAKER, MIRACLE WORKER, PROMISE KEEPER, LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS. If you’re looking for a lover, He is the One for you. The exact representation of a partner that you’ve been longing to have in your entire life, the completion of your emptiness and the satisfaction of your desire. In His ways, miracles and promises there is certainty that He is on our side. Walking with us in every battles of life because He knows exactly what and where we should be regardless of our response to His calling.

More like Jesus, this song is a reminder that Jesus left His throne, His comfort zone, His Father to become the source of hope that puts an end to every sorrow and pain. Jesus is the example of humility that we must possess. He surrendered His right to be respected, to be treated fairly and heard to make sure that we get to experience His life in heaven. He wanted us to be favored by our Father and be freed from any birth pains. Jesus is selfless and so must we. This song is a manifestation of our call to Jesus to put away worldly desires and embody the humility of Jesus.

What a beautiful name, a name that will never perish but will continue to be exalted – Jesus! This is actually my most played song among the listed above because the way it was written was meant to really honor and praise His name. People who anticipated the coming of Jesus were curious about Who He really is, His beauty, power and wonder. Imagine the excitement of people to meet Him in person and when they did finally see Him in person, their reactions were joyfully expressed in a song like this. An offering to the One who we have been looking forward to meet. A celebration of unveiling the mystery of His being. Oh, ‘The heavens are roaring, the praise of Your glory for You are raised to life again!’.

These are the five song I’ve repeatedly play on my phone as part of my spiritual discipline aside from praying and meditating His word. Like what I said, there are moments when I don’t know what to say to Him and my heart is really overwhelmed with things going around me, I just grab my phone and turn on my Spotify and just allow the songs speak for me. Do you also have moments like this? What are your favorite worship songs?

“If more of You means less of me, take everything….” More like Jesus by Passion

Welcome to my journal! I write to tell about my One true King – Jesus! It’s something personal but this Christian life should not be lived alone.

Purpose – ALL HIS

• Honor God through this platform of sharing His word and spreading His love across all nations
• Each day has its own miracle, blessing and conviction. Let me join you in your daily walk with God through bible reflections, prayer, journal writing and spiritual accountability

Writing for Him everywhere I go.